the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
