NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
