I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
