he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
