whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
