who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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