I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
