so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
