Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
