whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
