Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
