So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
