That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
