Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
