i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
