What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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