youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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