Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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