sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
