I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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