Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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