How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just invented taco cereal.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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