I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
