Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We have started to decorate penises.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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