Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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