Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
