Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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