Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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