it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
