careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
