We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
