I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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