dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
