So drunk, too bad you don't want this
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
