he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
