It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize