She's JV to your varsity
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
