from now on my penis is your penis
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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