Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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