she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
