And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
