you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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