Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize