everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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