He kissed a someone with a penis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
