Fuck appropriateness.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
