Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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