Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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