i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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