so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
