I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
