dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
