i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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