ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize