All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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