I don't think brook has ever known best
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
