I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
