Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize