I think I am morally bankrupt
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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